Updated: Jun 6, 2020
It's lunch time. Hilda did her rounds and she's fast asleep on the couch.
I wanted to do something bigger in life. This change of mind didn't occur to me until someone brought to my attention that I could 10 years ago. It was 2 seconds of my life and it changed everything. I didn't know it affected me at the time, but ever since those 2 seconds, spirit set in me a search for something. Maybe this happened to you?
Before I began felting, and before those two seconds, I was battling everyday life, always quitting jobs, working part time, never really getting anywhere. And I felt like this my whole life. Most people I knew or met, loved their jobs. I met many people who were inspired by their work. My favourite job I ever had was installing windshield wipers at General Motors. Life was simple in this job, there was a system and specific instructions. 'How to keep a job for dummies' sort of instructions. It felt like home. Until I stopped caring. I got older, bored of the same brain doing the same stuff, having the same nothing and I slowly shifted my mindset to a not caring attitude. For me this was helpful. It drew me to think about who I was, what I cared about. I asked myself what I wanted. And for an entire few years, I had no idea. I wandered around and then decided I wanted to work with plants or dogs. I wasn't going to budge. I decided that is what I wanted. I signed up for plant school and studied horticulture. The key point is that I decided what I wanted.
This is when I looked at nature more closely. I looked at flowers all the time and noticed how they just were. They didn't try hard to do their job. They didn't try at all. They didn't skip corners, they didn't fake it until they make it. They were there growing in the sun and taking nutrients from the soil that was provided. If you happened to step on it, it would do it's best to grow again. It provided everything to the world that the world needed from it. It truly lived out its purpose. I didn't need to look to others to be my hero's. I just wanted to be my own flower. I asked myself what was provided for me? How could I nurture my seed and be a flower? Maybe I could cultivate my own seeds one day and the wind would move them. What things did I truly love and care about? For me I asked, what were my childhood interests?
1. And, how could I bring back my childhood spirit?
Or, what fills my spirit with joy? It's an emotional thing. What stirred me at at my core? Feelings are the most important. The feeling is what will kept me going in the long run. I wrote a list of things. I wrote down what I felt I was generally good at. I was not good at felt making at the time. But I enjoyed 'sculpting' with my hands.
2. I didn't start felting. Flowers and seeds inspired me to look at materials of nature. Fashion being on my interest list led me to natural fibres. I began to crochet and knit with wool. I didn't realize then all the options that were available to me. I hated knitting at the time but I loved wool. Luckily, I came across a local shop with a felted handbag. I loved it so much and for some reason I knew that I could make it myself. I didn't know what the craft was called, or how it was done. But by seeing it, I knew I could do it.
3. When I found my craft, I decided I would cultivate it and never give up. Eventually I decided I wanted to make a craft product. I read something recently: If you want to get good at something, do it over and over again. It was about this guy who draws donkey's. He only draws donkeys. He draws donkey's doing all kinds of things. He is so good at drawing donkeys and he's so fast at it, he makes so much art, reaching masses. If there is one way to simplify life, that's it. That doesn't mean he will stick with donkey's forever. But being a pro artist in one thing, the opportunities for him are endless.
I brought to surface who I am and what I wanted. Once I got a hold of my horse, I began to tame it.
If you read all this, forget it all now! Tuning into yourself is the sure way to get to where you want to go.